So…yesterday wasn’t an amazing day. I got to work around 4:45am and got home around 8:15pm. In the middle of that, I missed out on my training session (I don’t feel good unless I exercise) in order to visit the dentist (I am no orphan in that I DO NOT like going to the dentist) for the 2nd time in 3-days. I ran 6x group sessions, did 5x PT sessions, programmed all of the group training workouts for next week (Boxing. Tanks + Functional – Christmas hours mean no DAP next week so I guess that saved me a bit of work), planned all my PT for next week (15x sessions) and in the middle of all that found out our main business account is overdrawn and I am a bit unsure how I am going to pay everyone’s wages this Friday. And THEN around 7:30pm last night I was told that we don’t care about our clients…
So I am writing this blog is for me, not for you. (But hopefully it is helpful for you).
Here are (some of) the strategies I use (most every single day) to deal with opposition and criticism from people who are sceptics, pessimists or just plain and simple a………!
What other people say – no matter how negative and even spiteful it might be – is not ‘ON’ you. It’s on them. When people are hard to deal with, refuse to take a step (let alone walk a mile) in your shoes and push all of the blame for their situation onto you, well, that’s ON THEM! How you react to people behaving in this manner – well, that’s on YOU! Be positive and be HONEST – don’t get aggressive – and ‘take the high road’ (no matter how much you want to fire back)…hopefully one day they will realise what you have done! Admittedly, it might be FREEZING in the kingdom of SATAN by the time that day arrives but until that day arrives the the only person being dragged down by a negative mindset is THEM, not you!
This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t TRY to make everyone happy. But you have to acknowledge that you can’t. For us, we try our hardest to put together a timetable with as many sessions as possible at prices EVERYONE can afford. For example, even next week when our Christmas Hours are in full swing, we will run more classes than other clubs in the area with 4x our membership base. Ignoring those bigger gyms with massive membership bases, a typical gym like ours – F45 or Crossfit – will run around 30x sessions per week (MAX)…we run 80+. A typical gym like ours – F45 or Crossfit – will cost around $50/week…our memberships are $20/week. A typical gym like ours – F45 or Crossfit – will CLOSE outside of class hours. We are open ALL DAY for people to come in and do their own workouts/training. I understand that none of this can/will make/keep everyone happy…and that’s just LIFE. It’s like, totally fine. It is also fine that no matter what we do/say/change etc – and expanding the gym to include the building next door is a good example – someone will always have something less than positive to say/share. AGAIN, that’s just LIFE.
Ultimately, all you can do in life (and of course, in business/work) is make the best decisions you can based on the information you have available to you at the time you make it. To make things ‘BETTER’ (whatever your definition of this is), you are going to have to make some BOLD decisions…and that is going to annoy some people. Expect it. Roll with it. Keep driving the bus forward.
…and it is NOT to get defensive. The ONLY response is to say ‘Thanks so much for telling me – I will really try to do that better in the future.’ You CANNOT get defensive. You CANNOT try to explain. If you do try to ‘reason’ your way out of it, well, two things happen:
1/. The person GIVING the feedback – however right or wrong they might be – immediately feels justified. “I tried to tell him about it, but all he did was argue. He doesn’t want to listen. I was right about him all along.’ Instead, say ‘THANKS’. It makes the other person think a little bit about themselves – ‘Maybe I WAS being a bit harsh’ or ‘Now that I think about it, I can see why they might have acted that way…’.
2/. YOU will get caught up in a negative spiral. Don’t get dragged down in an argument over trivialities. Whether they have a point or not, DON’T FIGHT IT. Just go with it. It is all about ‘onward and upward’ in this life…replaying the incident in your mind and thinking of the ‘STUFF’ you ‘shoulda’ said…who actually cares? How does that help YOU?
‘Having a bad day? Try missing one!’. That’s the late, great Tommy. Positive vibes about living life. Positive vibes about training hard. Eating well. That’s why I sooooo loved it when Zara worked at Round 1 (not that I don’t love my other staff of course), it was just that she always had such a “Who wouldn’t want to have a go at that – that’ll be fun” approach to her day/training/life.
We all have down moments. We all go through rough patches. Chin-up and soldier on. No matter what is going on, one-foot in front of the other is the way forward…not sitting down in the middle of the road hoping/waiting/praying to ‘feel better’. So many times I have found myself caught up in a bit of a negative spiral and ‘just forging ahead’ has ultimately been the solution. If you are looking for an oasis, you wont find it unless you push your way over the next ‘mountain of sand’ and get yourself a better vantage point. LIVE life!!!
I have lived the corporate life and earned more money than I could spend. To be fair, it wasn’t more than both Vanessa and I could spend TOGETHER, but it was close. I have travelled around the world on the ‘company dime’ and eaten in fancy restaurants charged to a corporate card. Some people want all that – they want the two new cars in the garage (choose the merc or the beemer, it is all about personal taste really! J ), the boat in the pen and the beach house down south. Other people DON’T want that – or at least don’t need it to consider themselves a success. Some people view success as being able to set their own work hours so they can attend school assemblies with their kids, or work in a job where they get to help people feel better about themselves or…well, any number of things.
Even I have to admit there are times (at this time of year in particular) when I see everyone else on leave/enjoying the ‘Christmas break’ I can get pretty down about the situation I find myself in…getting a day off – let alone a week off – really can seem like a bridge too far. BUT. As Dempsey keeps telling me (and he ALSO tells me he is very smart for a 12yo) if you are doing something you LOVE you never have to work a day in your life. And ultimately, even if I wasn’t a gym owner any more I think I would still have to find some time every day to COACH people and try to help them get better…’cos that’s what I love doing.
So Merry Christmas. Be a positive influence on the people around you. And have an awesome Christmas!
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